Finally, last thursday marks the last day of NAFA for me.
well, almost.

I've to come back during the vacation to complete my dmp module.
I regretted skipping lessons now. D:
Darn attedance.

I literally gave up BA.
As in, i don't feel ready now;
I wna rest for a bit, do what i like & live life a little.
Terence might be disappointed in me,
since he encouraged me to sign up, twice.

I didn't like him at first,
but since yr 3 hes been supportive.
I will miss a few lecturers in NAFA
oh wells, i'm ready to move on.

But, i'm a little lost
anyone?

( <cut/copy> )

Friday saw me getting killed,
by chancing upon explicit ____ of deceit.

Certain matters,
I can never fathom nor apprehend.

Yet, I often ignored
all acuity of my own perception,
jumping head-first into it
only to be battered & bruised at the end.

Yielding to my inner voice,
is what I do best.
I'm enervated,
I'm beat.








I just want to be myself, again.

In this current state of confusion;

previously for fyp (stage 1), out of Good, Average, Fair, Poor
I had 2 Average(s) & 3 Good(s) + relatively good comments,
with terrence telling me i should consider taking my BA aka Bachelor of Arts.

However, after working what seem like 99% of my life off for (stage 2),
a new lecturer who took over this time round tried picking fault at everything i do,
sigh.

To add on to my stress load,
I received a letter from nafa this morning
informing me that I failed to achieve the minimum attendance required,
thus, failing me for my digital media production because i was absent 6 times.

It's my fault,
i brought it upon myself but it's only a month away from grad.
And now this?

What am i gna do.
I dont wish to retake this minor subject and i wna grad with my dip.
I am majorly, depressed.





but nobody knows.

Gone is the old & the past, welcome the present & the new.
I just spent approximately 2 whole hours, deleting past entries.

I feel rejuvenated, renewed, in some sort of way.
Ive been having super queer dreams, almost daily.
I think i shld keep a written diary, that depicts all my dreams explicitly.

Idk if i'm the only one, but my dreams scares me.
They're mostly surreal, yet extremely realistic.

I've never been in love as much as i've been right now,
I came to realization that it isn't the duration
rather, it's the substance of the r/s that holds two together.

Stage 1 of FYP had just ended,
come monday, it'll be the start of stage 2.
I'm worn out, jaded.
I can't wait to grad,

I need a holiday trip.
Somewhere far,
somewhere cold,
somewhere where i can be with ..

him.

( 14thfeb'09 )